Each week I spend about 30 hours on homework along with my 19 classroom hours, student worker job, volunteer work, and trying to find time to spend with my kids. My classes are more difficult than any other term, and it is kind of overwhelming. About a week ago, I had a total meltdown. I felt like quitting and couldn't stop crying every time I thought about classes and homework, which is a lot due to the aforementioned workload. I ended up stopping in to see my boss and asking her to pray for me. God is so amazing. Not long after I got prayer, I felt tremendous peace and was able to focus on school. This term I may earn my first B, and my cumulative GPA will drop below 4.0 for the first time, but I have to be ok with that if I'm doing my best. Physics is incredibly difficult, so I don't think I'll freak out if I get a B.
Next term I'm transferring to the university. This transition is huge and happening much sooner than I originally planned. My original academic plan originally had me transfering next fall, but because of my scholarship, I have to transfer next term instead. I have a lot of anxiety about this. It means I will drive to the university every day, monday through friday. The university is an hour away. It also means that I won't know anyone in any of my classes or on campus, for that matter. I will also have to quit my job. I may be academically prepared for the transition, but I'm not sure I'm emotionally ready. I'm planning to schedule in some time to volunteer at the community college that I currently attend, so I'm not making a clean break.
Things at home are running smoothly. All three girls are helping out by doing the chores I ask them most of the time. Beth is amazing. She cooks two or three nights a week, so I can work on homework and attend my evening class without worrying about dinner. She has also taken on the bulk of the chores without being asked. She is doing great with her driving. She'll be sixteen in two months and will be getting her license which will help out a lot of her dad gives her the car he claims he got for her. I won't believe it until she has the keys in her hand.
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- Melissa
- I'm a mother, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister, I'm fearful, I'm a recluse, I'm a student, I'm a child of God, I'm a soccer mom, I really don't know who I am, but each day, I'm getting closer and closer to the answer.
4 comments:
That B still stands for Above Average, and we know you are far above average. :-) Best you can do is all you can do. B can stand for Burden, too, as you have a heavy load. But God is with you and has shown you that you can do more than you thought possible.
How exciting to see Beth mature into such a thoughtful and responsible young woman! I'm so glad she has gotten so involved in home duties and can lighten your load. My daughter is a big help in that area, as well, also without being asked. She sees what needs doing and does it. What a blessing our daughters are to us.
I'm so glad that things are better. I'm so excited for you!
Continuing in prayer for you!
So glad to hear that the girls are being so helpful. That makes a big difference, I'm sure. I thought I was going to die when I got my first B in college (it happened much earlier in my career than yours!), but I didn't. In fact, I ended up with a couple of them when it was all said and done, and I'm still alright. He he. Of course, if I had taken physics, I would have had much worse than a B! Hugs!
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