When I started thinking about hosting an exchange student, there were a lot of things I was concerned about. Would she get along with my kids, would she respect my authority, would we have problems communicating, would she like my cooking, etc. The things that have been challenging are the unexpected things that have popped up.
When choosing between all of the profiles of students that the agency provided me, I was looking for certain things. I wanted to choose someone who was good in school, was an athlete, non smoker/drinker, spoke English well, and was a Christian. If any of the girls I looked at was missing any one of these things, I ruled her out. This is why the struggles that we've been dealing with have hit me off guard and are part of what made me start this blog. They are things that I need to talk to others about in order to process them and share, so they don't overwhelm me. Sometimes the things she says are very disturbing and cause me to lose sleep.
About a week ago, we were sitting at the table, talking about our days and just normal things families talk about when they eat dinner. We started talking about teen pregnancy. Beth said something about how I would freak out if she got pregnant. I said that I'd be surprised and upset at first, but we'd deal with it. V (our exchange student) said, "Well of course you'd get an abortion." I was shocked when she said that. I told her that I would no sooner kill a baby in my womb than kill one that is already born. I could never kill my child or my grandchild. I then explained that we're Christians, and we believe that all life has value. She told me that 80% of her country are Christians, but they've advanced past that belief and know that abortion is perfectly acceptable. Apparently, about three years ago, V's mom got pregnant. Her parents called a family meeting and discussed how they would handle it. Her dad, mom, and brother all wanted her mom to keep the baby, but V doesn't like babies and didn't want her to keep it, so she aborted it. She said that her mom has had a few abortions and that in her country, it is more acceptable to have repeated abortions than it is to have more than two kids. As you can imagine, I was pretty upset by this conversation. I lost sleep several nights over it.
Tonight, we were once again sitting around the kitchen table, talking about all sorts of things. Somehow, we got onto the topic of how we all came to be here on this planet. Beth made a statement about God creating us and how she didn't come from monkeys. V said, "Of course you evolved from monkeys. Haven't you studied Darwin?" I told her that I have studied Darwin. I have also studied the Bible and several other books talking about the science of creation versus evolution, and I have no doubt that God created the world and all who inhabit it. I asked her if she believes in God. She gave me a look like I'm a complete idiot. She said that she believes in God but God can't create things. He's just something that lives in everything, He isn't someone that can create things out of thin air.
When she talks about things, she acts like our thinking is primitive and I have no idea what I'm talking about. It is almost like she's talking down to me, and it is driving me crazy. It always catches me off guard, so I don't know how to respond. I don't feel equipped for this. I've been praying that the Lord will help me reach her for Him. I just don't know how to break through the cocky, know-it-all exterior. I know, I know all 17 years olds think they know everything, but this is different. She seems to think that her country is so much more civilized than we are and that we have no idea what we're talking about. I just want to reach her for the Lord. I want to show her what real joy is.
Some of the small things that have surprised me that have caused her confusion have been things like our coins. She has a really hard time figuring out which coin is which when counting change. Also, when we go to the store for toiletries, she doesn't know which brands to buy or what to call things. Also, her discovery of Ranch dressing has been quite amusing. They don't have ranch dressing in Macedonia. She had it her first night here and absolutely loves it. It is so much fun watching the wonder on her face when she tries it on different things. I love watching her try new foods and ask what different things are. This is definitely an enlightening experience for all of us.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Oh boy! I knew that many European and Asian countries believe abortion is acceptable, especially poor countries where families can barely afford to feed themselves. It so ingrained culturally that even believers may not give it a thought. For V, being the cause of her unborn sibling's death by abortion, it must be easier to believe that it's the right thing to do rather than accept the guilt.
She has some odd ideas. God can't create things out of nothing, but out of nothing things just accidentally came to be. Darwin's theory was flawed and links are missing. If you had time, there would be so much you could study and share with her. However, I think demonstrating a life lived for the Lord and the love you share may do more to draw her in than any argument you can offer. Certainly, V's ideas will give you things to talk about with your daughters and serve to strengthen their beliefs and teach them how to defend their faith.
One thing that struck me while reading this is that not everyone's definition of "Christian" is the same. I've met a number of people who call themselves Christians but certainly do not show themselves to be believers (I'm not just talking about outward actions, but about their beliefs, like "God just lives in everything but can't create anything.") I certainly don't judge others, because your own salvation can only be known by you and God, but it's something to keep in mind when you are shocked by things she says she believes. I don't think 80% of Macedonia are true believers.
I've been praying for you and all three girls, but I will continue to pray, and more specifically that God will soften her heart and attitude. I know it's frustrating, but I'm sure you are doing a great job and showing her a shining example of true followers of Christ. Hang in there!
Post a Comment